i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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