Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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