I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
