so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
