yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
