He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
