i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
