I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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