yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
In America we eat man semen.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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