Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize