The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
