Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
