I think I died a long time ago.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
