the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
