I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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