I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
