apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
