i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
