Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
