My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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