just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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