It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
