She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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