I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I will pee on everything he values.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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