So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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