oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
