at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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