so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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