So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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