Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
