With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
