great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
