i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
