I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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