Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Randomize
