how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Holy sore nipples Batman
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
