I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
