Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
So many bounce houses so little time
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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