Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
