Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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