'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just had sex bonerless
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize