Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
