took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
