One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
