It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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