My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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