whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Pooping to opera.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
