Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
