So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
