This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
