i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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