? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
