Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
