Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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