Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize