Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
