just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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