I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
