my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
